topblog Ivoire blogs

19/09/2014

Veryu - ne veryu.... ili veselaya "anomal'naya zona" na kalendare.




Pervoye aprelya - svoyeobraznaya veselaya "anomal'naya zona" na kalendare,
den', kogda ugryumuyu logiku serykh budney mozhno narushit' kakim-nibud' nesusvetnym ozorstvom i pri etom ne proslyt' chelovekom neser'yeznym.

h1.jpg



Reshila selyanka perelozhit' pechku. Hanyala muzhika.
Prishel pechnik, nataskal kirpichey, gliny - vse pod razgovor. Zhenshchina poplakalas':
- C muzhem razvozhus'
- Pochemu? - sprashivayet pechnik - p'yet?
- Het - otvechayet selyanka.
- B'yet?
- Het - otvechayet selyanka.
- A chto?
- Khrapit, khrapit, svoloch' tak chto stekla drebezzhat.
V Moskvu vozila, akademikam pokazyvala, deneg kuchu izvela-vse odno khrapit.
- A spit kak? - sprashivayet pechnik.
- Ha spine, kak vse - otvechayet zhenshchina.
- Kak zakhrapit, razdvin' yemu nogi - sovetuyet muzhik.

h2.jpg



Ha sleduyushchiy den' prikhodit pechnik dodelyvat' rabotu, i vstrechayet yego nakrytyy stol, naryadnaya khozyayka.
- Za chto, khozyayka? - sprashivayet pechnik-rabota-to ne sdelana.
- Pes s ney, s pechkoy - otvechayet zhenshchina - pomog tvoy sovet, perestal moy muzhik khrapet', kak otrezalo. Tol'ko skazhi, kak ty, prostoy pechnik sumel soobrazit' to, do chego akademiki ne dodumalis'. Zhizn' semeynuyu moyu spas, ved' ya yego, cherta, lyublyu!




- Tak to akademiki - otvechayet pechnik - a my zaprosto rassuzhdayem, po pechnomu:

Nogi razvinesh' - yaytsa upadut. Yaytsa upadut - zadnitsu zakroyut. Tyagi net - i khrapa net.

h3.jpg

Khudozhnik Sergey Andriyaka



Ves' god, ne sovrav nikomu ne na grosh,
My zhdem, kak nebesnuyu mannu,
Tot den', kogda mozhno udarit'sya v lozh',
Nevinno predat'sya obmanu!
Nabrav arsenal zaviral'nyy idey,
S koshchunstvennym trepetom v tele
My lovim doverchivykh chestnykh lyudey,
Zabyvshikh o pervom aprele.
I my ikh nakhodim, smirennykh yagnyat,
Prostetski razvesivshikh ushi.
I strely obmana so svistom letyat
V ikh svetlyye, chistyye dushi.
No pervoaprel'skiy veselyy obman -
Serdechnaya nasha potekha.
I strely ne krov' vysekayut iz ran,
A dobryye iskorki smekha.
O, kak zhe on vesel i kak zhe khorosh,
Prishedshiy na smenu metelyam,
Tot prazdnik, vo smekh prevrashchayushchiy lozh'!
Sograzhdane, s pervym aprelya!
I believe - I do not believe .... or gay "anomalous zone" on the calendar.


April Fools' - a kind of cheerful "anomalous zone" on the calendar
day when the grim logic of the monotony of everyday life can be disturbed by some unholy mischief and thus not to be considered a frivolous person.

1

Peasant woman decided to shift the stove. Hanyala guy.
Stovemaker came, dragged bricks, clay - all under discussion. Woman cry:
- C husband divorce
- Why not? - Asks stovemaker - drinks?
- No - responsible peasant woman.
- Beats?
- No - responsible peasant woman.
- And what?
- Snoring, snoring, so that bastard windows rattle.
In Moscow drove, academics showed a bunch of money-plagued all one snores.
- A sleeping like? - Asks stovemaker.
- For the back, as all - responsible woman.
- How zahrapit, spread your legs to him - suggests a man.

2

The next day comes oven-builder to finish the work, and greets him a table, elegant hostess.
   - For that, the hostess? - Asks stovemaker-work is not done.
   - The dog with her to the stove - responsible woman - helped your advice, my man stopped snoring, how to cut. Just tell me how you managed to figure out a simple stove-something to which academics have not guessed. Life saved my family, because I have it, heck, I love you!

 


- So what academics - is responsible stovemaker - and we simply argue, in the kiln:
Legs razvinesh - eggs fall. Eggs fall - ass closed. Traction is not - and no snoring.
3Hudozhnik Sergey Andriyaka

 

Throughout the year, not lied to nobody for a penny,
We are waiting, as the heavenly manna,
The day when you can hit a lie,
Innocently indulge in the hype!
Typing arsenal zaviralnye ideas
With blasphemous trembling body
We catch trusting honest people
Have forgotten about the first of April.
And we find them, the meek lambs
Prostetski open-mouthed.
And boom deception whistling fly
In their bright, clean showers.
But April Fools hoax cheerful -
Cardiac our fun.
And the boom is not cut out the blood from the wounds,
A good spark laughter.
Oh, how he is hilarious, and how good
Successor blizzards,
That celebration, laughter turns into a lie!
Citizens, with the first of April!

Isaac Levitan paintings

Les commentaires sont fermés.